Hi all! Sorry for the huge delay between blog posts--it's pretty hard to find internet in the West Virginia/Virginia area. As a matter of fact, it's pretty hard to even find cell phone service (at least with respect to AT&T). Marco and I have been cell-phone-less for the last few days due to a lack of service. Which, fortunately, has forced us to rely on our trusty road atlas for directions (thanks Mara and Cliff for the awesome atlas)! I have come to the realization that I very much prefer an actual old school atlas rather than relying on a phone/GoogleMaps for directions.
And now for an update! I suppose I'll get the bad news out of the way first (for those that feel like skipping the following dramatic description of our relationship woes...feel free to scroll down to the bottom where the pictures start). Truth be told, Marco and I have both found that this trip has put a real strain on our relationship. I feel somewhat silly admitting this. I mean come on…we quit our
jobs, hightailed it out of NYC, built a kickass van, and
hopped on the road for an undetermined amount of time to explore the amazing
country we live in. What could possibly go wrong with that plan?! Every day
should be pretty amazing…right? Well, that’s what we both thought. And, that’s
why the road bumps we have come across have been so unexpected and difficult to
deal with.
Initially, I was quite reluctant to discuss my relationship status in such a public forum. However, my number one gripe with social media is the false impression of happiness that it can convey. I did not want to post a bunch of adorable pictures of Marco and me doing all of these exciting and amazing things, because, in reality, even though Marco and I are technically going through the motions of having "exciting" experiences, our overarching experience is that the trip has been pretty rough on our relationship. Bottom line, I don’t have it in me to convey a fake sense of happiness when, in
reality, beneath the seemingly fun-loving pictures I could potentially
post, there are two people that are experiencing some difficult, relationship-defining issues (see, e.g., Exhibit A).
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| Exhibit A: "Wow! What an adorable picture of a seemingly fun-loving, happy couple at Summersville Lake! I bet they are having the best time ever. No relationship problems here!" = FALSE! |
To give credit where credit is due, I'll note that almost everyone warned us ahead of time of the dangers of road tripping—“All that time in such a small space is
going to be hard! You’ll get on each other’s nerves and need lots of alone
time! If you survive this trip as a couple, you’ll survive anything!" And it seems that the
warnings were accurate. The thing that has really impacted our relationship is the total
change in our daily schedules and the resulting lack of outlets. We both led very independent and totally separate lives in NY. I had a very intellectually stimulating job as a lawyer and lived in close proximity to my childhood best friends, my college bestie, and a handful of amazing law school friends. Similarly, Marco had a great job as a climbing instructor, spent his days working with his closest friends, and spent many nights grabbing beers with his friends and coworkers. We both had PLENTY of other outlets aside from each other in our NY life. And in my opinion, that is where our problem lies. In our current state of being, we have one outlet--each other. I now look to Marco to play all the roles in my life that my friends, coworkers, and/or job played. If I want to have an intellectually stimulating conversation about something I heard about in the news, or I want to discuss how captivating the new book is that I'm reading, or I want to make a joke about some ridiculous thing we passed on the road that reminded me of an old Saved By The Bell episode, I turn to Marco. And when the conversation doesn't go as planned or he doesn't understand the joke due to our different upbringings and cultural backgrounds, I get disappointed and frustrated and take it out on him. And vice versa--his only outlet is now a cranky, frustrated, short-tempered redhead (yikes!!).
And this was truly a shock to us both. We had a rock solid, incredibly close relationship in NY! Three years of living in a tiny NYC apartment should have prepared us for anything. Neither of us ever had a doubt about our relationship. Marco even changed his cell phone number to start an AT&T family plan with me...I mean really, nothing says true love like changing your cell number to join a family plan with your girlfriend (except in southwestern Virginia where AT&T service is NON-EXISTENT!). Needless to say, we were pretty blind-sided by the last few weeks. We weren't making each other laugh. We couldn't hold a conversation. As Marco accurately put it when discussing our issues with our friend Dylan, the only thing we would really say to each other is "Oh look, a squirrel," or "Hmm, did you just see that bird," or "Gross, road kill again." We could comment on the obvious, but we couldn't connect at all. It was not a great situation.
And now for the good (or at least better) news. Fortunately, after a week or so of miserable and not-so-fun interactions, we started talking (and have continued to talk) about everything--which has definitely helped. We talked to each other and anyone else we could corner with our problems (thanks Dylan and Andy!). For the time being, we're chalking everything up to the fact that we're still in an adjustment period and that we're admittedly going to hit some bumps along the way. So, despite painting a bleak picture of our relationship and this trip, we are getting ourselves back on track and in the right direction. We're focusing on how amazing this opportunity is and how much we will each grow from it. While we are both unsure where such growing will take our relationship in the long run, we are undoubtedly sure that we will both be in a better place.
So, enough relationship drama...time for some pictures and actual travel updates! We spent just under two weeks at New River Gorge. It is hands down my new favorite climbing spot in the east for the following reasons (among others):
- Reason #1: I feel like I could climb here for years and still not touch all of the rock. I have never seen so many amazing routes all in one place (admittedly, I am still a bit green when it comes to climbing destinations, so discount my opinion accordingly). The quality of the routes is unlike anything I've experienced. Even when I wasn't climbing, I was able to watch some amazing climbers get on some beautiful routes. We happened to be at the New during the annual Rendevous, so we caught some serious athletes in action. My favorite...Whitney Boland! In addition to being adorably little (I could fit her in my pocket!), her technique and style were unlike any other climber I've seen. It was pretty exciting to watch her get on a route. And now for some climbing pictures!
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| Climbing at Summersville Lake, Orange Oswald Wall |
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| Dylan and Marco Reunited! Getting on Flight of The Gumbie, 5.9, at Butcher's Branch at Kaymoor. |
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| Scenic Adult, 5.11c, at Seven Eleven Wall at Kaymoor. |
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| Tony the Tiger, 5.11c, at Seven Eleven Wall at Kaymoor. Thanks for leading it Marco & Dylan! I love top-roping hard stuff : ) |
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| Two adorable and well behaved climbing pups! |
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| Exhausted from a long day of climbing |
- Reason #2: The camping is great!
The American Alpine Club is opening up a new campground that is really
nice. During our visit, it was pretty packed with a great community of
climbers.
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| AAC Campground |
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| Chef Marco cookin' up breakfast! |
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| He always makes his breakfast burritos too big--he can never wrap them! |
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| Look who almost got run over as we were leaving the AAC Campground... |
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| ...this little guy! |
- Reason #3: The food is DELICIOUS! Marco and I are seriously contemplating a trip back just to get another meal at Diogi's! Pies and Pints and Ernie's Dirty Rib Pit were also pretty stellar.
- Reason #4: The rest day activities are just as fun as the climbing! We hiked around and saw nature at its finest; we took a dip in Summersville Lake; and, best of all, we rafted down the Upper and Lower New River! Neither of us had ever been white water rafting before, so, naturally, I made sure to specify that we were beginners when booking our trip. Apparently that fact got lost in translation because we spent six hours rafting down some serious (totally life-threatening) rapids! We went through at least two Class 5 rapids, as well as many other Class 2 to Class 4 rapids. Every time we approached a rapid, our guide would say something along the lines of: "Okay, if you fall out here, there's two undercut rocks on your left, so if you get sucked under them you'll drown. You MUST swim AGGRESSIVELY to the right." Um, it's next to impossible to swim "aggressively" in a Class 5 rapid. It was pretty terrifying, particularly when we went through a rapid that contained a section called the Meat Cleaver--apparently there is a section of extremely jagged rocks, so if you fall in, you will be pushed up against/through the rocks. Swim AGGRESSIVELY left! (whatever that means) Somehow, Marco and I ended up in the front of the raft, so we had to lead everyone and stay in sync with our paddling (probably the best form of couples therapy we could have done). It was such an exhilarating and great experience, but simultaneously terrifying. While we both survived, the man in the back of our boat did get tossed out during one rapid and had to be saved by our fearless guide! Despite the dangers, I thoroughly recommend taking a rafting trip!
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